I’m Leaving Here With Something.

Looking back, I have not had many relationships - that’s okay. But you know what’s not okay?

The amount of situationships I have endured. Yes, I stayed too long or held out hope, but I wasn’t in them by myself ya know? So this one goes out to all the goofies…on both sides.

When it comes to paying compliments, I can tell you NO adult woman wants to be called cute. If I get called cute one more time, I am going to just scream in that man’s face. I am a gorgeous, beautiful, stunning woman. I light up a room with my smile, so simply do better. 

Having good chat is super important (Love Island reference, iykyk). However, joking should not be your only mode. I, and I think most women but who am I to say, want someone that we can hold a full conversation with that includes where the relationship is actually going. Situationships should not be around at this point. No one wants to be the placeholder or builder for the next person. Again, do better.

Now this brings me to this point - situationships end. When they end, just make sure you’re walking away with something. I do not mean a new bag or clothes, but something that takes you up a notch. It can add to your life moving forward. It gives you a little smile ya know? Just because that person was not it, does mean everything they did was terrible. I’ll go through some of my trying (and entertaining) tings, and what I walked away with. (You can’t keep a bad chick down, okay!)

  1. Kennedy Newman giant - learned a lot about love and even more about heartache. BUT I walked away with a deeper appreciation for art. He took me to the Chicago Art Institute so that was lit. 

  2. Benchwarmer - I walked away learning just because someone puts in all that effort does not in fact mean they will not hurt you and run at the first sign. I also really got into my Drake era. If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late really propelled me into my villain story.

  3. The boyfriend - I walked away learner to trust my gut. I also found a lot of good RnB artists that I listen to faithfully.

  4. The “entrepreneur” - What a ride. I knew, I mean I knew, a walking red flag but baby I was prepared to have fun. This one almost broke me. The friends that held me down during this time, I just want to say thank you! I learned to work through difficult situations. I had to learn to be his friend (and even that is at arm's length). I learned that I like to be challenged, and that I need to step out of my comfort zone. I also learned about Big K.R.I.T. and that’s always a crowd-pleaser. 

  5. The trainer - Did I really learn to trust my gut? This time I did. I also learned to not dim your light. I walked away with setting boundaries and actually sticking to them. Oh and Love Island. Thank you for making me watch that show.

Maybe another time I will circle back on the actual being with these people because now I can laugh a lot at those stories.  These situationships are never worth it so let me be your internal dialogue and tell you to not be a goofy, they don’t want you. But for now, no matter how down bad you may be, you should always remember to leave with something. Let yourself grow and change to find the partner that best fits you.

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